I've Got a Job To Do (Half of It's You)
by Krissie
Summary: Harry and Eggsy have one job: to catch the bad guy. Eggsy's the one that added "have filthy sex" to the to-do list, not that Harry's really complaining.


Prompt from anonymous: "Hartwin domesticity while on a mission"

All the thanks to Elletromil for plot help and LunarNightshade for awesome titling skills.

* * *

There were times it came in handy to be dating to head of an international intelligence agency, Eggsy thought.

This was one of those times. Bors had tracked the counterfeit batteries to a small bed and breakfast in Portugal. The only problem was that they needed to send a couple. Originally, Merlin had suggested sending Eggsy and Roxy, but Eggsy had turned sad eyes on Harry, and the man decided it was his duty as Arthur to go with Eggsy to "oversee the mission."

Naturally, Eggsy was living it up, using it as an excuse to have a short holiday with his partner, even though they did have something to do. Harry was looking forward to it as well, to be honest, and he made sure to put in for a few extra days reprieve after the mission just for themselves.

The B&B was rather quaint, near the mountains of Sintra, but far enough from the city that it was quiet and ridiculously romantic. Eggsy hung on Harry's arm from the moment they exited the cab, playing the part of a lovestruck young man on holiday with his older, more experienced lover. The older couple who ran the place were incredibly accepting of them; they gave them a nice room overlooking the vineyards and offered them a schedule of activities they might want to partake in.

They wouldn't actually do any of them; they had a mission to complete. As soon as they'd swept their room for bugs, they worked out a plan of action.

First things first: They were never to be apart for long. Their cover story was that of a loving new couple, and it also meant they would have immediate backup should things go wrong. They were going into an unknown situation, and despite how sweet the owners acted, they could very well be behind the batteries that had injured dozens already.

Second: Help out around the property. The more they were able to see, the sooner they could work out what was going on, and the quicker they could shut down the black market battery broker.

Third: Get in all the dirty sex they could when not otherwise engaged. Okay, maybe that was mostly Eggsy's plan, but Harry couldn't really find fault with it, and so onto the list it went.

Fourth: Find the seller, and get him to the proper authorities.

It seemed simple enough on paper, but both Harry and Eggsy knew well enough that plans rarely went so smoothly.

The second day of their holiday, right after breakfast, Harry insisted on helping wash the dishes. The owners, a sweet pair by the names of Virpi and Manuel had balked at the offer, insisting they should get out and enjoy the weather. Eggsy tried to look petulant as Harry insisted on teaching the young man manners, and soon enough they were given access to cleaning supplies.

There was nothing suspicious in the kitchen—unless one counted the sludge in the soup pot for dinner—so cleaning up was merely a chore to be undertaken. Eggsy did make sure to flick bubbles at his boyfriend, though, which devolved quickly into a water fight, until a truce was reached with kisses.

Eggsy enjoyed playing as a couple with Harry. Sure, they _were_ a couple, but it was different when they had a chance to be less professional than they were at HQ. The soft touches and teasing kisses as they explored the property, being able to settle more heavily against each other during meals—not to mention getting Harry out of his suits and into something a little more fitting a Portuguese holiday—were just what Eggsy wanted from a relationship.

Each day they help out around the property: They cleaned the pool one day (nothing in the shed but gallons of chlorine and various cleaning accoutrements), and oh, Eggsy in those tiny shorts as he worked to rid the pool of leaves and debris had Harry itching to re-enact some really cheesy porn movies in the nearest cabana. They'd had to change their sheets before they could go to bed that night.

The next day, they helped paint some of the unoccupied guest rooms (there was nothing in the guest rooms, which they'd assumed already, since really, it would be too easy for anyone to stumble across the contraband that way), and Eggsy managed to sneak a photo of Harry with streaks of paint on his face, though by the end of the day they were both fairly coated in the stuff, and they enjoyed a rather long and hot shower together to clean up.

By the fifth day of their holiday, they were no closer to solving the mystery, despite the bugs they'd stuck around the property, and so they did some extra sleuthing, offering to help Virpi clean their personal living quarters. She was delighted to have the help, and so she spent the day off-duty with her husband, trusting the two secret agents with her private spaces.

Everything was going well; drawers were rifled through, closets poked into, locks picked into filing cabinets and all put back to rights before they moved along, room by room, sweeping and dusting. Eggsy joked that it was rather like being back at home, without JB underfoot and slobbering over their freshly-mopped hardwood. Virpi's home seemed innocent, with nothing out of sorts or unexpected for the owner of a well-to-do bed and breakfast so far from town.

… until they reached her son's room, anyway. They'd met Martim at dinner, but had seen little of him otherwise. He was a loner, Manuel had said, but a good boy.

"Harry, those ain't boxes of chocolates," Eggsy whispered. "Looks like we found the dealer."

Harry nodded, alerting Merlin about their discovery before they heard movement in the front room, and before they could be caught snooping, he tugged Eggsy in for a deep kiss, with lots of tongue and roaming hands.

"What are you doing in my room—what are you _doing_?!"

Eggsy and Harry jumped apart, the flush on their cheeks real despite it having been their plan to be caught out.

"We were cleaning," Eggsy mumbled, eyes downcast as he tried to look contrite, "but … look at him! Couldn't help myself, bruv."

"Get out!"

They didn't need to be told twice; Eggsy grabbed Harry's hand and led him out, calling out a "Sorry!" as they went. They'd done their part, after all—now they got to have a real holiday, up until Merlin called the authorities to arrest Martim.

Once in their own room, they called Merlin back to see how long they'd have. Clearly they'd caught him in a good mood; he promised not to call the GNR for two more days.

"So … two days?" Eggsy said, looking Harry over hungrily. "Think we ain't leavin' that bed for two days, then, are we?"

"You're overdressed for it," Harry teased, kissing his partner as they divested each other of their clothes, falling into bed, finally enjoying their holiday without the threat of work hanging over them.

They didn't leave the bed until the GNR stormed the B&B.


End file.
